Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn is my first book that I have bought on the Kindle after repeatedly running across this book talked about on blogs. I had read Punished by Rewards in an education class in college, but not only did I need a refresher I also needed inspiration as a parent. Conscious parenting and gentle discipline is so against the norm. I’m okay going against the current, but when you don’t see it modeled a lot it’s a hard thing to forge alone.
Picture courtesy or www.indiebound.com
I am about half way through this book, and I see some general themes so far.
- Control gets them to “obey” but only for so long and has negative consequences on your relationship.
- Respect and compromise is the way to work together with your children so that you are all happy and getting things done that are important.
- The last thing you want to withhold from your child is love – as a society we generally withdraw when the child needs it most.
I will leave you with a quote:
“You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don’t want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.” Alfie Kohn