I’ve recently been stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. One of those vicious cycles where I felt helpless, lost, and retreating into my shell. I didn’t want to tell people that I was hurting and I certainly didn’t want to ask for help because, well, you know how the ego is. But believe me that I was there in the depths of it with my parenting skills.
I was guilty of so much gunk – yelling, emotionally pulling away from my littles, and feeling so so terrible about it all. I felt like I didn’t know where to turn for help to get out of that place. Call it The Universe, God, whatever – something was working in my favor. The Organic Sister hosted a Tribe call about Emergency Parenting Turnarounds. Hello!
That call and chatting about it on the forums brought a lot to my attention that I’m not meeting my needs and therefore not meeting the needs of my kids, especially Val. Between 2 and 3pm every day, we would just become downright mean to each other and I’d resort to TV as my babysitter. She’d constantly come back to me with requests, and I’d get frustrated because I just wanted a BREAK. Tara (The Organic Sister) said something like, “Then why don’t you have special time each day and ask V what she has in store for you.”
LIGHT BULBS! A HAH!
I explained to Val that around 3pm each day we would have “special time.” It would be a time for us to relax together and it was going to be swell. It has been – we have connected again and I once again feel like she is my little sweetheart that I was missing. We have watched Shrek at theater volume cuddled on the couch, went for a slow walk, watched butterflies in the flowers, and sat in the sand box making “cakes.” Such simple things, overall but complete game changers.
That connection alone has been a great transformation because our needs are being met. She is connecting with me and I get down time without running to and fro doing a chore or getting her food or setting up an activity in hopes I can sneak away for 5 minutes.
That’s not all though….
Then a friend and my husband shared this video on Facebook. I have been interested in Non-violent Communication, Peaceful Parenting, and Conditional Parenting but I’ve never know how to put it into action. It kind of felt like a great theory that I didn’t know how to use. This video explains it with many examples (well I’m halfway through it but I’ve heard it’s amazing ’til the end), and I am ever so grateful for coming upon it during this time.
This is my Parenting Transformation in action.
How or what have you transformed lately?