As many of you know, I have been working on decluttering for quite awhile. A little here and a little there – then getting rid of big things like the extra car and the RV. Now I want to hunker down with this free eBook and workbook called Conquer the Clutter to declutter room to room because of Dusti Arab! She’s a mom too and a living example that living with less with kids is totally possible.
I got to interview Dusti about Conquering the Clutter and Minimalist Mom – MY VERY FIRST INTERVIEW! I’m so happy she obliged.
I’m digging your eBooks Conquer the Clutter and Minimalist Mom. What has inspired you to write these books?
It’s an interesting story, actually. When I first discovered “minimalism” per se, I was fascinated that there were others like myself who had realized they were happier when they weren’t being held down by all of the junk.
However, I also saw there was a common misconception that one couldn’t really be a minimalism if they had children. It made me so mad that all of these people, mostly mothers too scared to part with their things, were propagating the belief that there is anything a mom can’t do.
Writing for The Minimalist Mom began in September, when I first began to discover how few people wrote for those with children who wanted to live more simply. The only example anyone ever gives is Joshua Becker, but the thing is he lives in a big house in suburbia.
Does anyone else see something wrong with that? Sure, radical minimalism where you only live with 100 things isn’t for everyone, but I wasn’t really interested in those people. They don’t want or need radical change.
I wanted to write to the people who did. The other parents who wanted to live incredible lifestyles and refused to give up just because they were parents, these would be my audience.
Conquer the Clutter was the introductory text. I wanted everyone to have already stripped their lives of everything unnecessary before I came in with the really radical ideas. Now, whenever someone is like, “Oh, no! How can I possibly get rid of grandma’s china or my beloved televsion?!” I refer them to CtC. It nullifies the arguments to getting rid of your junk.
What is your biggest goal as a Minimalist Mom?
I want to show my daughter that you don’t need tons of crap to be happy. Through minimalism, my life is being built in a way that will enable us to live the way I dream of. Traveling around the world. Can you imagine a more amazing way to grow up? I can’t. I want the world for my daughter and I, and this is how I will give it to her.
What do you want other moms to get from your writing?
I want other moms to realize how important it is to not just be a mom. Being a mom is part of who you are, but it is by no means all you are. You are a woman! Embrace it! Our society has convinced us we need to sacrifice ourselves for husband and baby, but this is so wrong. Being an excellent parent requires enough selfishness to take care of yourself, so you can properly take care of your child. Be the sexy, amazing, brilliant woman you were born to be! Everyone around you deserves it.
What do you have now that you didn’t when you had all the clutter in your life?
Interesting question. Time. Real friends. Freedom. Getting rid of all of my junk has happened concurrently with starting my blog. For me, that makes the two inseparable. Once the junk was gone, I began to realize just how empty other parts of my life were. However, because my time was freed up, I was able to lay the foundations for friendships I truly believe I will have for the rest of my life, even after this niche dies (which is already beginning).
Do you miss anything that you donated or sold?
Not a bit. Honestly, once it is gone, you forget you ever had it. You also tend to wonder why you ever had so much crap to begin with. Seriously, hack away at all of your junk mercilessly, and you will reap the rewards.
…Also, cleaning takes ten minutes, even with a two year old underfoot.
What’s your favorite part of being a minimalist mom?
You should see my daughter’s room.
My daughter is on the 100 Thing Challenge. Oh, yeah. You heard me. The fact is, all kids need are toys and clothes. That’s it.
Everyone is so convinced by marketers that they need every new gadget from the time they get pregnant (though I did swear by an electric breast pump for a while), that they forget that the main ingredient in a happy childhood is attention! In a world where everything is trying to interrupt our focus, being able to focus enough to give our kids the love and attention they need is so important.
Also, being a minimalist mom forces me to be much more self-aware. What I mean is that I can’t hide behind my stuff anymore. I know buying something isn’t going to make me happier for more than little while (although I’d dig a new laptop right about now), and it enables me to reflect on myself and my actions on a daily basis. Do I believe in what I’m doing? Is the way I spend my time reflective of what I think? These are the real way to achieve self improvement.
I recently wrote a blog post about my daily schedule – what does yours look like?
5:00 – Get up, get ready, head out the door by 5:25
5:30 – Get to coffee shop around the corner, start writing. Don’t stop until 8:00
8:00 – Go home. If baby is waking up, get her up. Otherwise, do some networking, writing, or possibly a little cleaning. Tie up loose ends.
9:00 – The usual time baby wakes up. Make breakfast, and play with baby until nap time. Sometimes we stay home, but more often we head out to the library or talk a walk or something more interesting.
1:00 – Baby goes down for nap. I get back to writing or homework, whichever has a sooner deadline. Work until baby wakes up.
3:30 – Usual wake up time for baby. Spend evening playing, loving, laughing, etc. Hang out with my partner.
8:00 – Put baby in bed. Hang out with my partner. Have amazing sex. Lots of it = key to keeping a happy relationship. Pass out eventually.
That’s my schedule about four days a week. However, I want to make it very clear that isn’t my whole life. If it were, I’d probably go crazy. You see, I don’t have any other mom friends. This means I spend quite a bit of time alone or at home, if I’m not careful. However, those are two things that don’t help my small business grow or get my homework done! Thus, here is my schedule the other days of the week.
5:00 – Get up, get ready, head out the door by 5:25
5:30 – Get to coffee shop around the corner, start writing. Don’t stop until 8:00
8:00 – Go home. If baby is waking up, get her up. Otherwise, do some networking, writing, or possibly a little cleaning. Tie up loose ends.
9:00 – The usual time baby wakes up. Make breakfast, and get out the door! Drop baby off with my mom by 10:00.
10:00 – Hop the train to my beloved downtown Portland.
11:00 – Do whatever I like. Usually have a meeting with someone scheduled for work or play or both. Head home when I feel like it.
This time for adventuring, being alone, being with friends, and generally exploring the greater depth of myself than just the part of me that is a mother is vital to keeping myself and everyone around me happy. If I cannot wander and occasionally indulge my passions, I will go crazy.
What were YOUR favorite things for pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum? Please share below!
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