Making A Home And Family

As many of you know, I work as a virtual assistant *ahem* Organic Support Specialist for The Organic Sister, and I am so excited for today!

I am partly excited because I had a tiny smidge to do with this AMAZING project Tara has been working on, but I am MORE excited to actually see the finished course.  Tara may be my “boss” by definition, but she is my Organic Life Role Model, and I sit in awe of all of the work she does in the lives of women.

So, you think I’d share this with you just because I work on some tiny admin stuff for this course?  BOGUS!  I share this because I freakin’ need this course and maybe some of you do too.  Some days as a parent are hard!  Meeting our needs on days when you have a teething baby or a tired toddler or a sick kiddo (or the list may go on) are even harder.  I know they are difficult!  I’ve been in and out of a parenting challenges and kind of in a funk most of the summer here.  I’m counting on this e-course for a “Jennie got her groove back” as the diploma at the end.

We have to remember though to cut ourselves some slack once in awhile, give compassion back and be gentle to ourselves, and get support through the messy parenting days.  Now is the time for you!

A little about the e-course:

Organic Parenting: The unconventional guide to vibrant mamas and thriving kids is a 6 week e-course by Tara Wagner (The Organic Sister) to help women examine their assumptions, disable their triggers, and nurture real trust, relationship and fun in their families through the use of her Digging Deep process and parenting tools.

The course is based on principles such as Trust, Connection, Autonomy and Passion, leans into the belief that our children are inherently wonderful (as if we didn’t know that), and shows us how we can guide and support them beyond the use of control, punishments, or rewards. But before it even gets into that it covers how you can first fill your own cup, feel vibrant and confident, and remain grounded and centered.

It’s unconventional, deep, personal, spiritual and powerfully effective in creating deep connection, cooperation, and real peace in our homes and relationships.

I’ve recently been stuck in a place I didn’t want to be.  One of those vicious cycles where I felt helpless, lost, and retreating into my shell.  I didn’t want to tell people that I was hurting and I certainly didn’t want to ask for help because, well, you know how the ego is.  But believe me that I was there in the depths of it with my parenting skills.

I was guilty of so much gunk – yelling, emotionally pulling away from my littles, and feeling so so terrible about it all.  I felt like I didn’t know where to turn for help to get out of that place.  Call it The Universe, God, whatever – something was working in my favor.  The Organic Sister hosted a Tribe call about Emergency Parenting Turnarounds.  Hello!

That call and chatting about it on the forums brought a lot to my attention that I’m not meeting my needs and therefore not meeting the needs of my kids, especially Val.  Between 2 and 3pm every day, we would just become downright mean to each other and I’d resort to TV as my babysitter.  She’d constantly come back to me with requests, and I’d get frustrated because I just wanted a BREAK.  Tara (The Organic Sister) said something like, “Then why don’t you have special time each day and ask V what she has in store for you.”

LIGHT BULBS!  A HAH!

I explained to Val that around 3pm each day we would have “special time.”  It would be a time for us to relax together and it was going to be swell.  It has been – we have connected again and I once again feel like she is my little sweetheart that I was missing.  We have watched Shrek at theater volume cuddled on the couch, went for a slow walk, watched butterflies in the flowers, and sat in the sand box making “cakes.”  Such simple things, overall but complete game changers.

That connection alone has been a great transformation because our needs are being met.  She is connecting with me and I get down time without running to and fro doing a chore or getting her food or setting up an activity in hopes I can sneak away for 5 minutes.

That’s not all though….

Then a friend and my husband shared this video on Facebook.  I have been interested in Non-violent Communication, Peaceful Parenting, and Conditional Parenting but I’ve never know how to put it into action.  It kind of felt like a great theory that I didn’t know how to use.  This video explains it with many examples (well I’m halfway through it but I’ve heard it’s amazing ’til the end), and I am ever so grateful for coming upon it during this time.

This is my Parenting Transformation in action.

How or what have you transformed lately?

{Photo Credit}

Confession: The last few days around here have been less than peaceful.  It’s been a whirlwind with the toddler and lacking in compassion, love, and patience.

I can blame the craziness on things, but I’m not sure that it holds any weight.  Sure, she’s vying for attention now that she has a baby brother.  Sure, she’s on the verge of three and as I’ve heard three is so much worse than two.  Sure, she’s old enough to know better but still wants to test her limits.  Sure, she wants autonomy.

Really though, I’m the adult here and I can process all of this stuff going on.  I can be more aware of it all.  I can be present with her.  I can show her compassion, love, and patience so that she will show it back to me and others.

I can let go of yesterday.

I did when I went up to her this morning looked her in the eyes and said, “I love you.  You’re a cool kid.”  She smiled at me kind of shyly and then I pointed at her.  She pointed back and made a funny face.  We did this back and forth making faces and pointing all around in silence.  We made a connection, a silly little connection.

I’m ready to start anew.