Archive for the Category »Peaceful Parenting «

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today!

{Photo Credit}

Confession: The last few days around here have been less than peaceful.  It’s been a whirlwind with the toddler and lacking in compassion, love, and patience.

I can blame the craziness on things, but I’m not sure that it holds any weight.  Sure, she’s vying for attention now that she has a baby brother.  Sure, she’s on the verge of three and as I’ve heard three is so much worse than two.  Sure, she’s old enough to know better but still wants to test her limits.  Sure, she wants autonomy.

Really though, I’m the adult here and I can process all of this stuff going on.  I can be more aware of it all.  I can be present with her.  I can show her compassion, love, and patience so that she will show it back to me and others.

I can let go of yesterday.

I did when I went up to her this morning looked her in the eyes and said, “I love you.  You’re a cool kid.”  She smiled at me kind of shyly and then I pointed at her.  She pointed back and made a funny face.  We did this back and forth making faces and pointing all around in silence.  We made a connection, a silly little connection.

I’m ready to start anew.

Sunday Inspiration

Last week, I felt the need to take my Sunday morning to myself.  Well, take my Sunday morning and be more present with Val.  We had breakfast and played and read books.  Even though I had a lot of inspirational links to share, it just felt right.

~Some inspirational links~

A short but relaxing evening yoga.

Will you choose to parent negatively or positively?

A funny flow chart to help you find real food at the supermarket.

Mama talking real about being a mama.

I learned about hip hop dancing once afternoon.

A celebrity mama being beautiful and natural.

Break out of shyness.

Have you heard about cyborgs?  We are cyborgs!

Re-engaging boys in learning with games.

Thank you, Surgeon General!

Another celebrity (that I love love love) talking about her way of parenting.

What’s inspiring you?

Letting Go of 11 Things in 2011

I’m a little late to this Reverb10 thing, but I stumbled on it this morning after some yoga.  I had my tea in hand.  I thought, “Why not?”  I dusted off the journal and started.

{Photo Credit}

11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011?

1.  Expectations of others. Normally if I expect things of others, either behaviors, things, actions, in some way they will fall through.  Now I’m not trying to be negative, but my general idea of them or what they said they would do is just that – an idea.  Humans can communicate, but I think we are generally bad at conveying our thoughts with others.  This makes for mixed communication and a confusion in expectations.  I want to focus on the positives they do bring to my life.

2.  Worry. As I have heard, it’s just a bunch of meandering thoughts whirling around a pit of fear.  It does no good.  I want to do something in its place and find solutions or let it go.

3.  Procrastination and laziness. Now I understand that there are times needed for rest, but I know I deliberately cut corners sometimes out of laziness.  I want to feel accomplished instead.

4.  The idea that material things makes me who I am. I am me because of my thoughts, my life experiences, and the people I surround myself with.  I can still be me without the stuff.

5.  Excuses! They are just that excuses!  They do nothing positive for my life, and I want to experience more without being tied to limits.

6.  Negative thoughts and speech. I want to enjoy my days in reality and in my thoughts, and I want to pass those traits along to my daughter.  I don’t want to be and I don’t want her consumed by negativity.

7.  Labels. I want to parent, teach, live, learn, experience without labels.  They may help us find community, but I am seeing a lot more people fighting with others or with themselves over expectations because they are trying to live up to a label.

8.  Attachment to technology. I love gadgets and the online community, but sometimes I just feel stuck in it rather than really living and doing offline.  I want to find a balance.  Expect more on this one later. :)

9.  The clock.  Some days, I go mad because Val hasn’t napped by 1pm.  Why?  Because the clock told me she should be napping RIGHT NOW.  That creates a downward spiral, and it’s unnecessary.  I want to follow the rhythm of the day and just flow.

10.  Feeling obligated.  Either do it or don’t do it and stick with the decision.

11.  Envy. I’m human – I get jealous of other people’s things or situations or their time spent doing things like meditating or doing yoga.  I want to be grateful in all the little moments because this is my life, and I’m totally going to enjoy it in 2011.

Sweet dreams!

Some days, as a mother, are just long.

11pm last night, Val fell asleep.

5am this morning, Val woke up.

“Mama, get up.”

Already? She wasn’t buying that it was still na-night time.

The poor little girl is teething, we’re both tired, but luckily we I was the adult and kept a positive attitude today.  I didn’t pull the “Really kid, I’m tired.  Poor pititful me party.”  She is the one  trying to get teeth to pop through her gums for pete’s sake!

It was, overall, a good day!  I even called in back-up so I could get a breather tonight.  I took the dog out for a 25 minute walk in the misty dusk, and it was great.  Chilly air in my lungs, a sun setting, the local football team practicing in the practical dark for “the big game” coming up.  Val got to relax with her Grammy and cuddle to read books.  Total win-win!

I am so thankful she is sleeping right now.  Not because I wanted a break or peace and quiet – although those are nice too – but because I know she is comfortable enough to rest now.

I’m about ready to get that comfortable too.

Sweet dreams, friends!

TERRIFIC TWOS

So, I said I was going to try new scripts and try a new dance with my daughter and I did.  It was a beautiful one!  We had a great day together!

The twos (even though she’s not quite 2 yet) can be TERRIFIC!

Why?  Because….

  1. She’s learning and exploring.
  2. She’s eager and goal-oriented.
  3. She’s teaching me and challenging me.  (Yes, challenges can be good.  They help you grow.)
  4. She’s spontaneous and light-hearted.
  5. She smiles and giggles.
  6. She’s so filled with joy.
  7. She has so many ideas!
  8. Her world revolves around playing… who doesn’t love to play?
  9. She dances, runs, plays, eats, and all other things without worries of what others think of her.
  10. She doesn’t hold grudges and loves unconditionally.

Looking at this list makes me hope that she’ll keep all of these terrific traits into her teens and adulthood.  So many of these get lost along the way!  I don’t want to be the one to change her idea of life and tell her those traits are terrible!

Goal of my THURSDAY?!  To be more like my Terrific (almost) Two Year Old!

Welcome to my Home Wednesday ~ “Terrible Twos”

I’m beginning to wonder if the “terrible twos” have begun in our home this past week.

She has began demanding, “Hurry up, Mama!”  ”Get up, Mama!”  ”Mama, draw now!”  There are times when I’ve kindly, and not so kindly (SHAME SHAME), said not right now.  But mostly, I am just trying to wrap my head around so many ideas.

She must have heard me demand of her SO many times.  ”V, hurry up!  Let’s go!”  ”V, let’s put your diaper on!”  I can only imagine where she learned to demand of others.  Now, after looking back on it all – I can see why she gets so furious with the demands.

Because if I hear one more, “Mama do such and such right now!”  I might blow a gasket!

Why?  Why does her requesting of me make me so angry?  Why can I literally feel the anger building?  Why if she wants something does it almost put me on the edge… like nails on the chalkboard?


Why?


Because who really likes being told what to do?


Do you?


I don’t.  I don’t like people “making” me do something, and I’ll admit sometimes I don’t even like them even suggesting I do something.

So maybe it’s not the “terrible twos!”  Maybe we are just at a point where we can both communicate well enough to tell each other what to do, but neither of us wants to hear it and neither of us is communicating in a way that we can both do what we want to do (most of the time).

We just need to learn new scripts!

I’ll be learning more empathy and how to dance with her this week. :)