Our homes can become chaotic; it is at these times that we have the power to decide to bring more love into our homes.At their best, our homes act as our sanctuaries. They are the nests we return to for rest and nurturing nourishment before we venture out once again to spread our wings and fly. But there are times that we may feel quite differently about our homes—times when we feel surrounded by turmoil rather than harmony, or mired in chaos rather than immersed in peace. It is at these times that we have the power to decide to bring more love into our homes.
When we choose love, we are choosing to begin within. With a deep breath, we close our eyes and ask that when we open them again, we will see where we can make shifts to create greater harmony. These may be inner shifts, such as accepting others’ personality traits and working with them rather than against them. Or they may be changes we can make with items around the house–removing the ones that cause frustration and displaying things that make us feel good. Then, we reach out to the people with whom we share our homes–whether they are family members or another combination of people who share our space. We can help to shift their perceptions toward the positive by asking each person to think about their ideal living situation. After allowing some time for reflection, gathering to discuss each person’s ideas may lead to the discovery that there are conflicting concepts about what your shared home should provide. Once this information is out in the open, we have a roadmap for creating balance and harmony from seemingly disparate desires. Together, agreements can be made to enable all to take the steps needed to create a unified vision.
When we have consciously chosen to make our home a place of harmony, then love’s energy can expand throughout the lives of all who live there. Each person will be nurtured, allowing them to take that peace and serenity with them into the world, sharing it with whomever they may encounter; and making every space they enter a warmer and more loving place for everyone.
Archive for the Category »Stay at Home Mom Series «
How many of you feel behind on the laundry or the dusting needs done or maybe even the corner cobwebs just seem to be part of the family now?
Yeah, me too!
Most of the time, we can get through our daily cleaning and chores but some of the others get set aside. I think the best thing I have found to help me is FlyLady. Now, FlyLady might seem to be a bit much. There’s a lot of email reminders and a lot of things to get a grasp on. If this seems like a good fit, just take it a bit at a time until a schedule is set. I think the morning routine is the best place to start! It sets the tone for the day.
I wanted a FlyLady app for my iPhone, but there wasn’t one. I did find this though – HomeRoutines. It is based off of the idea of FlyLady but you can edit the morning and evening routine, and there is an alarm to remind you to start (in case you’re in lazy mode 
).
I love my HomeRoutines app, and I have customized it to include my 100s Challenge and even to take my vitamins in the morning. There is also weekly chores you can add and it has you work in one zone each week. This week is the kitchen and dining room, so you will deep clean that zone throughout the week – like getting those cobwebs!
I know there are other charts out there – I like SimpleMoms too! She has things from daily, weekly, and child chore print outs.
How do you stay on top of your daily and weekly tasks?
I think it’s totally normal as a mom (working outside of the home, in the home, or a full-time CEO of the home) that she can lose herself. She can get lost in the schedules, the piles of laundry, the dinner menu, or just chasing around the little ones.
We are all guilty of it, but I think we need to remember we must nourish ourselves in order to nourish others. Some mamas like Jennifer from Yoga with Style and I get recharged and inspired by doing exercise, like yoga.
Through my yoga
practice I have taught them some fun asanas and some simple mindfulness
for their ages to calm them down. Yoga has helped me be a calmer person
overall and has added to my patience level.
I find it refreshing and inspiring to spend a day with other mamas and kids. Chatting with others who have the same daily challenges as me makes it easier. Of course, we chat about other things we enjoy too like what books we are reading, what new desserts we are loving, and other random tidbits about what is going on in our lives.
I am inspired by creating community online. I have learned so much about parenting, breastfeeding, cooking, baking, and creating and I owe it to the friends I have met through blogs, Twitter, and Facebook. SAHMs can really benefit from this when our work is in the home the majority of the time.
Let’s not forget to be inspired by the little moments too. Jennifer said it best,
Being spontaneous, not worrying about whether the
laundry is done and just being happy helps so much in enjoying time with
little ones – everyone is just in a calmer state of mind when mom is -
“Happy Mommy, Happy Baby” – so true!
Inspirational Links
Work less but do more?
7 ways to raise a Buddhist child
A short yoga video for hips I loved this week
A little about the health of the Amish
A chance at detoxing from autism?
Let the kids play! Let them make messes! Let them learn by doing!
What’s inspiring you?
Somedays, as a SAHM, I feel bored and I am sure that Val does too. Those are the days that we go to classes or free things offered in the area so that she can meet other children, interact, learn with others, and I can meet other moms in the area.
I think these types of activities are crucial for a well rounded environment for the mom and child. Too much of one thing, like being at home, can weight heavily on all involved. Be on the look out for a post about the well-being of a SAHM!
What are some things a SAHM and child can do together outside of the house? Where do I even start?
Something as simple as running errands together. Going to the store, writing lists/checking off items, or making games out of “chores” can be fun and a change of pace.
Story time. My library has story time once a week, and we have been going since they started offering it for the little ones. It usually includes a story, another short activity, and caregivers and kids linger longer to play with books, toys, and puppets. This gives the adults time to meet and mingle while the children interact with each other.
Classes at the YMCA (or other places like Little Gym). We have gone to a few classes at the Y, and we are loving them. They are for parents and child and again give us the time to be together, learning something new, and in a new setting while meeting others.
La Leche League or other groups like Holistic Moms Network. These are great resources for moms and child alike, especially when looking for like-minded people. I attended LLL while we were in AZ and it was a great way to connect to others when I didn’t know very many people.
There are countless other places to go too like the zoo, children’s museums, and parks just to name a few. If you are a SAHM and feeling bored, restless, or getting short with your children maybe you should try venturing out for new scenery and to change up your days a little. That connection to others will surely help.
What activities do you like to do with your children in your community?
Have you been reading along with the SAHM Series? I think all moms (or caregivers) can benefit from some of the things we have talked about so far – simplifying, being real about the appearance of our homes, why we do it, and maybe take a look back at planning monthly menus.
Because today I am going to talk about how to make your grocery shopping easier. Do you ever feel like you are always at the grocery store or it’s more of a hassle because you have little ones in tow? Maybe you could try my new plan!
Do one huge grocery shopping trip (and maybe ask a friend, partner, or grandma to come along to help). During this trip, you can gather up all the staples you’ll need for the month. All of the frozen things, dried foods, canned items, etc that can be stored and will last you the month.
Visit the store only once or twice a week for produce items. If you have forgotten something or need something for the week that is perishable, now would be the time to buy it. But you won’t have to go every day in hopes of finding something good for dinner (because you haven’t planned anything yet).
Order online. This is my favorite one! I now skip over health and beauty, plastics, papers, and some staples in the store because I am shopping online. It makes the monthly trip much easier and managable!
Here are my online lists for ordering – maybe they will save you time shopping too!
Nuts
Dried fruits
Trail mixes
Dried jerky
Tea
Coconut water
Honey
Gluten-free cookies
Popcorn
GF pizza crust mix
Rice noodles
Shampoo, conditioner, soaps
Saran wrap
Tinfoil
Baggies
Garbage bags
Razors
Toothpaste
As many of you know, I have been working on decluttering for quite awhile. A little here and a little there – then getting rid of big things like the extra car and the RV. Now I want to hunker down with this free eBook and workbook called Conquer the Clutter to declutter room to room because of Dusti Arab! She’s a mom too and a living example that living with less with kids is totally possible.
She recently released Minimalist Mom too, and it was kicking my butt! Hence my New Years Resolution of streamlining and simplifying. I am adding Dusti to my SAHM series even though she is a working minimalist mom who is also attending college because these books are beneficial to anyone who needs to simplify their home and family life.
I got to interview Dusti about Conquering the Clutter and Minimalist Mom – MY VERY FIRST INTERVIEW! I’m so happy she obliged.
I’m digging your eBooks Conquer the Clutter and Minimalist Mom. What has inspired you to write these books?
It’s an interesting story, actually. When I first discovered “minimalism” per se, I was fascinated that there were others like myself who had realized they were happier when they weren’t being held down by all of the junk.
However, I also saw there was a common misconception that one couldn’t really be a minimalism if they had children. It made me so mad that all of these people, mostly mothers too scared to part with their things, were propagating the belief that there is anything a mom can’t do.
Writing for The Minimalist Mom began in September, when I first began to discover how few people wrote for those with children who wanted to live more simply. The only example anyone ever gives is Joshua Becker, but the thing is he lives in a big house in suburbia.
Does anyone else see something wrong with that? Sure, radical minimalism where you only live with 100 things isn’t for everyone, but I wasn’t really interested in those people. They don’t want or need radical change.
I wanted to write to the people who did. The other parents who wanted to live incredible lifestyles and refused to give up just because they were parents, these would be my audience.
Conquer the Clutter was the introductory text. I wanted everyone to have already stripped their lives of everything unnecessary before I came in with the really radical ideas. Now, whenever someone is like, “Oh, no! How can I possibly get rid of grandma’s china or my beloved televsion?!” I refer them to CtC. It nullifies the arguments to getting rid of your junk.
What is your biggest goal as a Minimalist Mom?
I want to show my daughter that you don’t need tons of crap to be happy. Through minimalism, my life is being built in a way that will enable us to live the way I dream of. Traveling around the world. Can you imagine a more amazing way to grow up? I can’t. I want the world for my daughter and I, and this is how I will give it to her.
What do you want other moms to get from your writing?
I want other moms to realize how important it is to not just be a mom. Being a mom is part of who you are, but it is by no means all you are. You are a woman! Embrace it! Our society has convinced us we need to sacrifice ourselves for husband and baby, but this is so wrong. Being an excellent parent requires enough selfishness to take care of yourself, so you can properly take care of your child. Be the sexy, amazing, brilliant woman you were born to be! Everyone around you deserves it.
What do you have now that you didn’t when you had all the clutter in your life?
Interesting question. Time. Real friends. Freedom. Getting rid of all of my junk has happened concurrently with starting my blog. For me, that makes the two inseparable. Once the junk was gone, I began to realize just how empty other parts of my life were. However, because my time was freed up, I was able to lay the foundations for friendships I truly believe I will have for the rest of my life, even after this niche dies (which is already beginning).
Do you miss anything that you donated or sold?
Not a bit. Honestly, once it is gone, you forget you ever had it. You also tend to wonder why you ever had so much crap to begin with. Seriously, hack away at all of your junk mercilessly, and you will reap the rewards.
…Also, cleaning takes ten minutes, even with a two year old underfoot.
What’s your favorite part of being a minimalist mom?
You should see my daughter’s room.
My daughter is on the 100 Thing Challenge. Oh, yeah. You heard me. The fact is, all kids need are toys and clothes. That’s it.
Everyone is so convinced by marketers that they need every new gadget from the time they get pregnant (though I did swear by an electric breast pump for a while), that they forget that the main ingredient in a happy childhood is attention! In a world where everything is trying to interrupt our focus, being able to focus enough to give our kids the love and attention they need is so important.
Also, being a minimalist mom forces me to be much more self-aware. What I mean is that I can’t hide behind my stuff anymore. I know buying something isn’t going to make me happier for more than little while (although I’d dig a new laptop right about now), and it enables me to reflect on myself and my actions on a daily basis. Do I believe in what I’m doing? Is the way I spend my time reflective of what I think? These are the real way to achieve self improvement.
I recently wrote a blog post about my daily schedule – what does yours look like?
5:00 – Get up, get ready, head out the door by 5:25
5:30 – Get to coffee shop around the corner, start writing. Don’t stop until 8:00
8:00 – Go home. If baby is waking up, get her up. Otherwise, do some networking, writing, or possibly a little cleaning. Tie up loose ends.
9:00 – The usual time baby wakes up. Make breakfast, and play with baby until nap time. Sometimes we stay home, but more often we head out to the library or talk a walk or something more interesting.
1:00 – Baby goes down for nap. I get back to writing or homework, whichever has a sooner deadline. Work until baby wakes up.
3:30 – Usual wake up time for baby. Spend evening playing, loving, laughing, etc. Hang out with my partner.
8:00 – Put baby in bed. Hang out with my partner. Have amazing sex. Lots of it = key to keeping a happy relationship. Pass out eventually.
That’s my schedule about four days a week. However, I want to make it very clear that isn’t my whole life. If it were, I’d probably go crazy. You see, I don’t have any other mom friends. This means I spend quite a bit of time alone or at home, if I’m not careful. However, those are two things that don’t help my small business grow or get my homework done! Thus, here is my schedule the other days of the week.
5:00 – Get up, get ready, head out the door by 5:25
5:30 – Get to coffee shop around the corner, start writing. Don’t stop until 8:00
8:00 – Go home. If baby is waking up, get her up. Otherwise, do some networking, writing, or possibly a little cleaning. Tie up loose ends.
9:00 – The usual time baby wakes up. Make breakfast, and get out the door! Drop baby off with my mom by 10:00.
10:00 – Hop the train to my beloved downtown Portland.
11:00 – Do whatever I like. Usually have a meeting with someone scheduled for work or play or both. Head home when I feel like it.
This time for adventuring, being alone, being with friends, and generally exploring the greater depth of myself than just the part of me that is a mother is vital to keeping myself and everyone around me happy. If I cannot wander and occasionally indulge my passions, I will go crazy.
If you want to learn more about Dusti do check out her blog! Don’t forget to grab your free copy of Conquer the Clutter and don’t miss out on the inspiring Minimalist Mom book too – it has really given me the push to keep striving for less stuff but for MORE of what really matters!
I’m a SAHM and that means a lot of things. One things means that I live, work, play, and learn here with my family and GUESS WHAT? That means it’s not always tidy and pretty and clean.
So let’s get real!
Walk into my home today and you’ll see this:
This is Val’s play room. Complete with stickers stuck to the floor and toys around. There are toys on most other floors of the house too. Including the bathroom and kitchen even.
My laundry is over flowing thanks to the move – our dryer doesn’t work here. Ours is electric and the hookup is for gas. I have been hang drying some of it – including cloth diapers and my family has been helping dry some of it. Alas, I’m still behind.
My kitchen sink is usually also full. Being home all day with James and Val and cooking most of our meals, creates big messes. Notice the citrus juicer is also still dirty from this morning.
So there you have it! I’m not always perfect, my house is not always tidy, but it’s a busy home and it’s filled with love and that is what’s important.
This week, I will be featuring posts for Moms, especially SAHMs. Be sure to check back each day for tips on how to manage a home, keep a routine, maintain some tidiness, and to keep things simple. I will also be sharing my first interview with a rockin’ minimalist mommy!
Why am I a SAHM (stay at home mom)? Doesn’t it get boring or mundane?
These are a few of the questions I’ve been asked about becoming at play at home mommy. I am a SAHM because I have a degree in Early Childhood education, and I know the importance of the formative years of learning and a child being with his/her parents. I understand that some moms have no choice but to work because they need the money, and I understand I am blessed to have this job. But I can’t imagine leaving my home to go to a child care center or school to care for and teach other children and not my own.
Do my days get boring or mundane? Not usually! Have you been around a child?! They are constantly in motion, learning new things, and it keeps their caregivers on their toes! Add in a husband to care for, a home to keep in order, pets to take care of, and meals to cook who has time to be bored?!
This is my job, and I love it! Faith from Bearthmama feels the same…
I think Stay at Home Mama is a funny misnomer. Maybe “live in the world with my children mama” is more apt. I have been a mama for 14 years. I have stayed at home, worked from home and worked outside of the home. I have created a home in over 15 houses since then, and lived on the road.
I have 3 children, Kopper 14, Easy 8 and Zola 3. My life is never boring and rarely quiet. We live in our house, it isn’t just a place to eat and sleep after a long day at school or the office. Our home is a place to base our adventures out of, a place to create, explore and relax. It is our sanctuary from the crazy world.
My job is to create a safe place from my family to live, work, play, dream and be. That involves clearing a clean palate for us to create. It includes facilitating the means for my children to live full productive joyous lives. I am a guide, a fellow adventurer, a chef, a sounding board, a good listener, a finder of lost things and much much more. I bring in items, events, people and ideas that may inspire my family and bring joy to us. It is a full time all consuming thrill of a job!
Are there any other SAHM’s that want to share why they stay home and what their days are like? I’d love to hear from you?
